The qualities of a likeable person vary from person to person, however, if you were to ask someone if they thought they were likeable the chances are, they will say yes.
They will be basing this answer on the fact that they have a handful of friends they hang out with; they get on with colleges and they can have pleasantries with the Starbucks barista.
This doesn’t mean they have the full spectrum of skills to be fully likeable, it just shows that their skills are at a basic level and what they do not realise is that they are missing out on so many opportunities that come their way, just because they cannot enhance those skills, it’s not their fault, because, quite frankly they don’t realise that they are missing out or that they need to improve their likeability factor because they have never experienced true likeability and think that this is as good as it gets!
There are a few qualities of a likeable person that you will need to be aware of and utilise them along with your charisma.
Benefits of having qualities of a likeable person
Most of the decisions we make people are initially on the basis if we ‘Like’ the person or not. If we can become more likeable then we can increase our chances of seizing more opportunities, for example, gaining a promotion, secure more clients or getting a better price from a supplier. It can also make an impact on our personal lives as we may want to win over a potential partner, increase our circle of friends or be the first one on the invite list to parties and events …. because we are likeable.
There are other situations where being more likeable can help such as during an argument, negotiating or delivering difficult information. When we are more likeable, we can defuse any negative or difficult situation quicker and less painfully as well as having a better chance of resolving the situation to YOUR benefit!
Myths About The Qualities of a Likeable Person
There are a few myths about likeability and why people want to do more with people they like.
- Likeability is something that you either have or you don’t
- Once people like us that’s it they will like us forever
- Only extroverts can be likeable
- Likeability is not an essential trait in business or personal life
These myths are not valid, as having that likeability factor is essential to achieving everyday goals. It has the ability to get you invited to more parties/events, climb further up the career ladder quicker and persuade others to your way of thinking.
Qualities of a Likeable Person
To become a more likeable person firstly you are going to put others before your-self, you can do this with random acts of kindness or thoughtfulness thinking of others without any financial or emotional gain…. just for the sake of it.
The key here is to do something supportive for someone else and DO NOT EXPECT something in return. This will make you stand out as most people who do nice things for others usually have an ulterior motive or agenda eg, they will help you move house, but only because they need a favour in return.
Truly likeable go out of their way to help, support and motivate others, they do it without thinking, and the reality is the more people you do this to those people will like you and naturally try to help you when the occasion comes. Not only that but you will feel good that you have helped or been supportive to the other person, so there is a knock-on effect.
People do not like it when they feel ‘indebted’ to you, it can come over not very genuine and a bit like mafia extortion which actually makes you look sinister NOT likeable… and people never forget, if you do something wholly to get something in return people will remember and try to avoid you in the future.
2. They can have great conversations
Truly likeable people can have amazing conversations with anyone and although the thought of this might make you turn and run for the hills, actually it’s not as hard as you think! You can learn how to have meaningful conversations with anyone, with a few of our know how tips you will grow in confidence and become a great conversationalist.
Take the best chat show hosts for example, Graham Norton, Jimmy Kimmel and James Cordon, they don’t actually do that much talking, they ask questions, they get their guests to open up and do all the talking.
That’s what likeable people do; they ask questions that get people talking about themselves. You can do this by asking about their passions, their opinion on a topic or what keeps them busy. The main thing is to stick to open ended questions All you have to remember is to start questions with these words:
By using these words, the person will have think and give additional information enabling you to ask follow up questions, remember don’t ask questions that have a yes or no answer as this will kill any conversation and then there will be awkward silences.
If you don’t know the person who you are talking to, for all you know they might be super shy and just so grateful that you have started a conversation with them and by asking them questions about themselves you have given them a bit of confidence made them feel more at ease and become more likeable. You can even get coaching on conversations and relationship building.
3. They Can Take a Joke
Not taking yourself too seriously and being able to laugh at yourself is an incredibly likeable quality.
We have all been in social situations where someone cracks a joke at someone else’s expense and the intention was not to hurt or bully but to make a funny observation. The worst thing you can do is kick off, go aggressive or upset. People who are likeable, laugh at themselves when they do something silly or are the butt of a joke in a particular scenario. It is a fine line to make sure it is a joke and not something malicious. Its refreshing when you meet someone who can laugh in situations and not take things so seriously, people who are likeable know that life is not always serious.
4. They Are Very Reliable
It’s safe to say that no one likes a flake, someone who says they are going to do something and then never delivers. Yes, sometimes things come up and we can’t help or support as promised, but on the whole, likeable people are very good at keeping their word. If you can’t for whatever reason talk the talk or do the walk, be courteous, let the person know, not only will people understand, after all life has a habit of getting in the way of the best laid plans, this will make you more likeable, and grow your relationship with people.
When there is an event or an occasion, they make sure they are there and on time! Reliability is one of the qualities of a likeable person that is important, especially when someone asks for their help with something they are there. When someone asks them around, they are there. The important thing is if you say yes to something make sure you keep your word and in a digital world reliability is becoming a really rare and sought-after trait in friendships & for employers.
5. They are a catalyst
Being likeable means that sometimes you will have to be the catalyst. Being the first to have a party or invite someone to do something is an extremely likeable quality, because it makes the other person feel valued and wanted.
Next time you are invited to a party ask someone new along to go with you, if you have a free weekend organise to meet up with some people for a coffee try and ask a newbie as well, if you’re at work organise after work drinks.
These things don’t take much effort but people like people who bring others together. People are more likely to invite you to something if you have invited them to something so start being the catalyst and have the domino effect.
The qualities of a likeable person are very straightforward, most of them are skills we picked up during playtime at school or throughout our working lives. Although saying that, they are never skills that you actually “practise” as people think likeability is something that just comes naturally. What is miss-understood is that we all learn different levels of likeability at different times throughout our lives and some people find it easier to learn than others our lack of likeability can hold us back which is why it is important to respond rather than react to our likeability factor.
Those People who are likeable all have one thing in common, they put others first before themselves. Whether that’s in a conversation and not talking about themselves but getting others to open up or going above and beyond the call of duty to help out others.