After a break up things can be tuff for some folk, however……… should you follow you Ex on Instagram?
Social media plays a huge part of our relationships, we can find romantic partners on tinder, we can search for colleagues on Linkedin and we can even use twitter to stay in touch with our fav celebs.
Since our connections with others are through digital methods what’s the harm in following your Ex on Instagram?
After a break up things can get pretty emotional, trust us, you do not want to be that girl at 3am after 8 cocktails messaging him ‘are you still up?’ or even worse ‘I love You & Miss You!’… or the ultimate booty call!
Why do we unfollow in the first place?
There are many deciding factors as to whether you should follow your Ex on Instagram, but, before you do ask yourself why did you unfollow them in the first place? Mentally ask yourself these questions …….
- Did they cheat on you?
- Were they Lying?
- Are they a toxic person?
- Did they move city or country?
- Being Unsupportive?
Depending on the reason you had for unfollowing your ex in the first place could be useful information when it comes to deciding whether or not to follow them on instagram.
What Impression will that give him?
If you were to follow your ex on Instagram, turn the tables and ask yourself what would that make them think and is that what you want them thinking?
This is key because if ideally, you are wanting to get back together with them, then this would send out that vibe and give them that impression. Every circumstance is different and you need to ask yourself …. is this really what you want them to think?
The impressions a follow could give them:
- You are wanting to get back together.
- You are not over them yet and are needy.
- You want to re-connect.
- You want to support them.
- You want to show him you are over them and nothing they do will bother you.
Really think long and hard about what your ex will think once they clock you are following them.
What is there to gain?
Unfortunately, other than putting salt in the wound or clinging on in the hope that they see the errors of their ways or forgive you for whatever the reason for the break up in the first place, or decide that they can’t live without you there is not a huge amount to gain from following your ex on Instagram.
You might get that instant gratification for a nano-second because they have gained weight or is not as successful as you or on the flip side it can crush you to smithereens seeing them moving on and not giving you a backward glance.
Ultimately you need to think about what you want the end result to be, if it’s just to follow him and nothing else just to be nosey, then revisit our last point, and ask yourself what impression will that give him and is it really worth it?
Should you follow your ex on Instagram?
In short, the answer is No, if you have broken up recently is very natural to feel upset by that the person you loved, who no longer wants to be with you.
There may be a myriad of emotions going through you which in turn you might talk yourself into doing irrational things that when you have your sane head on again you would never do such as following them and being that crazy Ex at 3am begging for them to take you back.
You are not alone, this is common behaviour however, just remember, this is not you…. you are stronger than that and you deserve better always remember that if you do not put a value on yourself no one will!
The damaging effects of your mental health will be counterproductive for all the good work you may have done up to this stage.
Although it’s easier said than done and in that moment even the most irrational act seems rational, rather than filling your feed with your ex, fill it with things that lift you, make you feel positive and are powerful. This will be more productive towards getting over your ex and faster as well.
We all have weak moments where we want to create a fake stalker profile or want to follow them after a day we feel alone however this can have more psychological effects than we realise. If you are struggling with an Ex then perhaps you need some help getting back into the game? Try our Date Coaching to bring back your confidence.