Suppose you are looking to get more opportunities in life because you are sick and tired of watching other people get promoted, receive recognition, have their salary increased, create meaningful relationships, have new experiences, or explore new places. In that case, I have good news for you – you can change! You can become the person that people are rushing to hand opportunities to if you focus on this one thing. It’s called charisma. If you are ready to take the next steps and work with Sebastian on charisma coaching, then you can book a free discovery call below:
The Charismatic Edge
A study carried out by the Dale Carnegie Institute found:
“85% of your financial success is due to your personality and ability to communicate, negotiate, and lead. Shockingly, only 15% is due to technical knowledge.”Dale Carnegie Institue
The combination of leadership, communication, negotiation, and personality makes up some of the core components of charisma. People make the mistake that if they get more qualifications, do more courses, or level up their hard skills, they will get the recognition they deserve and be handed opportunities. In a perfect world, that would work; unfortunately, we do not live in a perfect world. We live in a world where those who are more liked get the opportunities. You can increase your likability to give you an edge over your competitors, and it starts by increasing your charisma.
Summary of How to Get More Opportunities
- Making connections that count
- The key to building rapport
- Cultivate a magnetic presence
- Project confidence
- Art of Conversation
6 Charisma Steps to Get More Opportunities in Life
Let’s pull back the curtain and show you the charisma steps the likes of Bill Gates, Joe Rogan, Emma Stone, Ryan Gosling, and Richard Branson used to have people knocking at their door to hand them opportunities.
Making Connections That Count
When it comes to building your network, the biggest mistake people make is not having connections within their circle that can give them opportunities. Commonly, people go through life making friends, meeting new colleagues, and connecting with friends of friends, and only by chance they may meet someone who can give them an opportunity. If you want to get high-quality opportunities, then you need to be conscious of networking with high-status individuals, the decision-makers in your company, and those who are achieving what you want to achieve. I have written a how-to guide to charismatic networking; however, here are some things to consider:
- Figure out where these people hang out, socialize, and do business.
- Create an offering to them that provides value and piques their interest.
- Put yourself in a position to meet them to build rapport.
- Have a follow-up strategy.
The Key to Building Rapport
Let’s fast forward; you have met the person you want to connect with, you have arranged a meeting, and now you are in front of them. Will they hand you an opportunity? No! Now the hard work begins, which is to build a relationship with the foundation of rapport. To build rapport with someone, you need to understand the ‘Building Rapport Funnel.’ The funnel outlines the levels you want to pass through to reach the point of rapport. The stages are:
- Small Talk
- Fact Sharing
- Common Ground
- Personal Feelings
Most people stay at stage 1 or 2 of the funnel, but that’s not rapport; you need to pass down through the funnel. The personal feelings stage is the most important; however, you need to go through the first 3 stages before you can get these. For some people, you can go through it quickly, for others, you will need to stay at each stage for a while. Do not rush it! A relationship needs to be taken care of!
Cultivating a Magnetic Presence
If you want to develop charisma in a way to get more opportunities, then we need to talk about cultivating a magnetic presence. Being the person who walks into a room, and everyone is looking at them and gravitating to them is ultimately what people see charisma to be. A magnetic presence is created by utilizing your body language; it is one of the most overlooked components of charisma because people use their bodies all the time, and they do not see all the mistakes they are making. I have worked with people during charisma coaching, and some of my clients have so many bad habits that are killing their charisma without them even realizing it. It could be anything from:
- Not making eye contact
- Picking their face
- Looking away
- Resting b*tch face
- Staring at their phone
- Hands in pockets
While these may not be inherently bad, a magnetic presence is created through positive body language such as:
- Genuinely smiling
- Making strong eye-contact
- Positive posture
- Using hand gestures
All of the above can help communicate to others that you are competent, confident, positive, credible, and trustworthy. It’s surprising how just a few subtle changes can have that impact.
If I were to ask you, “What does charisma mean for you?” you may respond with confidence. It is true charismatic people are more confident, and confident people get more opportunities in life. But if you are someone who lacks confidence, does that mean there is no hope for you? Not at all.
A study was carried out in Japan to understand how powerful our minds are. They took 13 people who were extremely allergic to poison ivy. Each was rubbed on one arm with a harmless leaf but was told it was poison ivy and touched on the other arm with actual poison ivy and told it was harmless. All 13 broke out in a rash where the harmless leaf contacted their skin. Only two reacted to the poison leaves.
You see, the mind is incredibly powerful. In the study, it stopped the rash from breaking out because the people believed the leaf was safe. Let’s put this into the context to get more opportunities. If you have thoughts such as:
- Not being good enough
- Don’t deserve anything
- Feel others are just better
You are just like the people believing they were being rubbed by poison ivy and causing yourself to lack confidence because you are allowing your mind to kick in.
Art of Conversation
Understanding the art of conversation is a key component that can get you more opportunities in your life. This does tie into the building rapport funnel; two elements are missing that are essential to building relationships to have people line up to hand you opportunities on a platter.
- Active Listening
- Asking Questions
Active listening is vital to having good conversations. 99% of people do not listen; they may ‘hear’ what the person is saying, but listening is a far more in-depth form of understanding. Active listening involves your ears, your eyes, and your mind to process all the information the person is giving you. You are not just hearing the words they are saying but listening to the tone, looking at their body, and their facial expressions to build a picture of what this person really is saying.
Asking questions may seem obvious, but you can keep a conversation flowing effortlessly by asking good questions. Questions that start with How, Why, or What are a great place to start; these types of questions are perfect because they invite someone to give more information than is necessary, which can help with conversation building.
To get more opportunities, you need to become more likable and memorable. The best way to achieve this is to improve your storytelling skills. Let’s get real for a second; no one cares about your drinking stories or your tips to Bali. You need stories that:
- Captivate the audience
- Connect emotionally
It’s not as hard as you think. Most people make these common mistakes:
- Tell the ending before even starting the story
- Give way too much unnecessary information
- Do not capture attention
- Get distracted and start talking about something else
The best way to have a bulletproof story is to pick one that you already have (everyone has at least one good story) and constantly refine and practice it. Learn where the best places to pause are, where to use hand gestures, where to place jokes, etc. Practice, hone it, and constantly edit it until you have the finished product.
If you are at the stage where you have had enough of watching others get opportunities, and you are ready to kick start your charisma journey, then book your discovery call below to see how charisma coaching can help you get more opportunities.